In the meantime, I've been boxing things up, scrubbing, re-arranging, cleaning out closets, etc., etc., etc. I have purchased paint for one of the bathrooms (have to get rid of the wallpaper first!) and I have plans to build some new porch steps. Just can't swing painting the house but I will plant flowers again and re-gain some curb appeal.
Now, as for my soul, it's nice to be where I'm comfortable going to confession and to have a priest who knows my pain, views me as a friend, and will hug me. (I don't get hugs anywhere else since my children and grandchildren aren't around). We also have an "adoration" chapel - where one can always go and sit in the presence of Our Lord. (You see, I tend to only go out when it's dark and I won't encounter anyone).
I think I've mentioned this before but my days are filled with Korean music - cranked to the fullest. I'm making new memories - enjoying songs from the dramas that I enjoy or by the actors within those dramas - nothing that has any ties to the past. In the evenings, I'll take the time to watch some episodes or to work on learning the language. Maybe it's a form of escape but it's a way of creating something new. My nightmares have subsided. Yes, it is still very difficult to go to sleep - even with my meds - but I have a playlist of over 100 songs now that I just put on and they continue all through the night. Quite indescribable as to how delightful it is to me to wake up and to think, "Oh, that's Lee Jun Gi or Kim Jae Joong or Hyun Bin singing right now." They have such beautiful voices and, since I can't understand all of the words, that's what I hear - their beautiful voices. There are about a dozen Korean actors whom I enjoy tremendously - maybe more now - a few of them are so cute that I just want to adopt them as sons and the others, well, they are just downright gorgeous men. (I've always liked tall, dark, and handsome - regardless of ethnicity).