It's Friday - the countdown is here. Come Monday, hell or high water, I am leaving the keys with the realtor and I am out of here. Have I told you how much I love this house? The tears have been flowing off and on all day. I will get through this. The garage roof has been replaced, the yard has been overhauled, and I have someone lined up to build new porch steps for the side porch. My task is to go through the house, room by room, and make sure that it is "show ready".
We moved into this house 15 years ago on June 1st. This is the longest in my entire life that I have lived anywhere. Later this month, my 33rd wedding anniversary will pass unnoticed by anyone but me. That's because the civil divorce went through on Halloween of this past year - 32 years and holding. However, in the eyes of the Church, we have a sacramental marriage which "no man can put asunder". Truth be known, that man will always have my heart and soul and I have to be quiet about it. He doesn't want to hear it and neither do my family members who think I should be "picking myself up by the bootstraps and getting on with my life".
My solution: Move. Move far, far away. Go someplace where no one knows me. Initially, I have to spend time back in the place of my childhood until my house sells due to finances but, once the house sells, I am going to invest in my retirement home and move farther south. I'm going to land close to a couple of my siblings so that I will have some resources but I am going to choose my own space. I need a new "safe place". I don't have one right now and I think that adds to my emotional upheaval.
What am I looking for? Warmth - but I'm not a beach person - I like forests. I enjoy smaller towns where I can easily get into a larger city when needed. I would like a little bit of land where I can have a couple of chickens to lay fresh eggs and space for a garden. Ah, yes - there has to be a Catholic church in the community so that I don't have to travel far for mass. Jack would like a fenced-in back yard. I'm not asking for much - you think? *heavy sigh*