Second Installment - Homecoming

That's what it felt like - a "homecoming". I saw cousins and aunts and uncles that I haven't seen in years. I was welcomed - with open arms.

We celebrated Meem. And the pastor was wonderful about focusing on Meem's deep faith. He used her worn, marked-up Bible to illustrate much of his description of Meem and her life. He even said that if Meem's passing just drew one more person closer to the Lord and to Jesus that she would have been happy. True story.

My cousin even put his five-year sobriety chip in the casket with Meem. She was truly a matriarch - well-loved and well-respected.

As I was preparing to get back on the road, the words that I was able to hear: "She loved you and she always appreciated what you did for me." I didn't "need" to hear that - but it sure felt wonderful to have it said.

And, from one of my older cousins, "meet you on Facebook!" It was a time of hugs, kisses, and remembrances. I "needed" to go.

Cousins 

P.S. It rained the entire time. God was grieving with us.                                                                           

First Installment

My grandmother passed away two days ago. No one called.

I found out about it through Facebook - messaged my sister-in-law and cousin to find out. Only my sister-in-law responded.

I've been told not to stop by the house if I come. I'm going anyway.

Truly the red-headed stepchild - however, I think my big brother feels even worse. He told me that I take things too personally and get my feelings hurt - so I should be like him and not "give a shit". But I know that he does.

Anyway, I will be there at the visitation tomorrow. I will stay for the funeral. I will return home.

If no one talks to me, fine. I know that Meem will know that I was there.

Can't stop crying today...

Looking back and facing forward

Worked on the living room floor yesterday. He came over to get the lawn mower and finally remove his clothes from the closet. In the process, he mowed the backyard for me, fixed the DVD player (it may be dying), removed the set of drawers from the study with his keyboard cables, took his bowling ball, and measured the front rails to replace them. I thought that I was fine - for the first time, I felt nothing. Nothing at all. However, the nightmares came back last night.
I started making a rosary for a precious little girl who celebrates her First Communion today. I finished it early this morning. New beginnings! There is a big celebration today.
So, looking forward: big interview in SC at the end of this week (praying for a job in a new place), niece's college graduation, and heading to Boston at the end of the month to prepare for the arrival of my third grandson, fifth grandchild!
As for the house: finishing the living room floor, the fence is going back up, the front rails and steps will be replaced/repaired, and now I can paint that room! Also, one of my baby girls is moving in for just a few weeks- her family will join her when possible- so, I won't be alone.
I've started dancing again.