When

When am I ever going to stop crying over him? 💔

Legacy

In the midst of all the surrounding tragedies,  sometimes we wonder what people will remember about us.

When my father-in-law passed away, people lined up outside to pay respects on a workday morning. I had never before seen that many people at a viewing. So many made a point of seeking me out to share how he had impacted their lives. What i heard most often was that he never said a word against anyone and he was always ready to help. Wow!

It's not that I didn't already know these things. At my wedding,  he danced with me and told me that it was okay that my dad didn't come because he was my dad now - something he fully lived up to for he always kept his word.

I would love to be remembered like that but I won't be.  However,  maybe, just maybe,  people will say she loved God and her church, her babies and her grandbabies , her many "adopted" children, family, music, books, biology,  learning, and her sports teams.

Never adept at music or sports, (fairly decent at folk dancing and learning), I am the biggest "fan" cheering on my babies and their babies. I delight in all of their accomplishments and activities.

Praying for many friends and family members, near and far - again, I am a silent supporter. I guess I don't really need to be remembered as long as the love continues on.

Grief

Grief? I have no answer for how to handle it. Pray, breathe in, breathe out, shove it down, cry it out, and, truly, try to make it just one day at a time.

So many people are being hit hard around me: my aunt lost her precious brother (not an uncle to me - but to my cousins); a dear friend just lost her husband to a long, serious illness; another friend from my parish home of 16 years was tragically killed in a car accident on Friday afternoon (the fault of another driver - who also died).

Last night, my Facebook friend and prayer warrior posted some wonderful news about her oldest son and tonight she posted that he was gone (suicide). He leaves behind a fiancee, two baby girls. And, of course, his family.

A young man (whom I care greatly about) is losing his mom (prayers for miraculous healing, please!). She was very good to my youngest. a "beautiful" person.

A friend of mine has been fighting the big "C" - she is such a trooper. We are rejoicing that two masses have disappeared but there is still more to be conquered. I can't handle vomiting for 2 days and she has been living with it for weeks (thanks to her meds).

My heart is broken - wounded and hurting - but I see joy now. Snuggling with a little one in a rocking chair, reading stories, singing songs - God provides comfort in many ways.

Lent 2017

Not off to a good start. All too sick to actually attend Ash Wednesday services.

As a family,  we have decided to fast from desserts and to save at least a dollar / day to be donated to a charitable cause.

On a personal level, I have signed up to study the Bible and the Sacraments through an online course. I have also decided to set aside daily time for studying Korean.

In addition,  I will continue to create rosaries in my spare time - this is always a time to concentrate on spiritual growth and personal growth.

Preparing for the trials to come....