Lent is upon us once again. It's always a time to focus on spiritual renewal and faith. I fail so many times but Lent comes upon us and I feel like I have another chance to redeem myself. So, to me, it is the dark grey days leading up to the most glorious holy week (winter seeking spring). My favorite mass in the entire liturgical year is Easter Vigil (even though I haven't been able to go these past few years). It's usually packed and oh so long but it totally lifts up my soul!
During Lent, I do eat fish a lot on Fridays. I know that there are other ways to abstain from eating meat but it's one of my sacrifices (I don't like fish). In addition, I try to do something that will help deepen my faith. You may or may not know me well enough to know that I have never lacked faith in God (I guess that's always been my "gift") - my mother tells me that Jesus and I used to have tea parties all the time when I was little. However, I don't always feel that I am really doing my part in this relationship.
I've started reading (and almost finished) Interior Freedom by Jacques Phillippe. It's good - I've underlined some passages - but the question always remains, "how do I really put that into practice?" I'm a book smart kind of person. I'm also an introvert. It's really difficult to push myself out to unknown spaces (I still have yet to visit and walk the mall right down the street). So, how does that look during Lent? I don't know - we shall see. I've found a church home but I'm beginning to think that there is a real disadvantage to having more than one priest serve a parish. Even if I attend the same mass time, I don't have the same priest presiding - and he's the only person that I speak to on Sundays. Every single one of them just seems to be shaking hands and not even making eye contact at the end, pushing everyone onwards and out. So, there is no welcoming feel. Unlike seeing the Bishop at the Cathedral (he takes time to talk and to "see" his flock).
So, here I am. Curled up on the couch and suffering from a bad cold. I'm good at praying for others - not so much for myself. But this song speaks to me:
Here I Am, Lord