This past week has been unsettling. I keep dreaming about my husband of the past.
In one, he was the young man who courted me. I even woke up humming a song that I later discovered was one from a music video that I've watched countless times. He came to see me while my little brothers and sister were children - the one thing out of place was that my Dad was with my momma at the time. In real life, my Dad had already walked out when I met my husband. He never met my Dad until after we had been married for several years.
Lie to Me
The follow-up dream was when our girls were little. I can't remember the details any more but I can remember the feelings. I feel as though I am waiting.
Waiting. I mean, I refer to my husband as being a "prodigal" husband - am I truly waiting? Do I somehow deep down really think that he would come home? Ah, but "home" is long gone and I have become a wanderer.
I'm heading to Michigan for the next year - again, to help out with my grandbabies. God has blessed me so much with my daughters, my sons-in-law, and my littles. He knew how much I suffered during the "empty nest" years. My life is being filled back up - hugs from all my little misses and little men are the best (and from my girls).
Ireland was healing. Not just Knock Shrine - the Garden of Remembrance, the General Post office, all the churches and abbeys, sacred ruins and cemeteries, Book of Kells, Galway,Guinness storehouse, the Cliffs of Moher, Glendalough, St. Kieran's church, St. Kevin's cross. Maybe I can capture that in words some day. Maybe the blessing and anointing that I received at the shrine that day is at work. I don't know if my emotions will ever be understood though.
I really do wish I knew more about the only ancestors whom I know sailed from Dublin to the new world. (John Kennedy and his wife, Mary Gibbons). I have so much more information on my Scottish ancestors because they were nobility - much harder to find out about a common person.
I feel as though I should be doing something to capture memories. I seem to be forgetting so much lately.