An "Inconvenient" Truth

So, I had dinner and "family" time with my best friend this week. Just normal relaxed, down home, week-night comfort food and surrounded by the kids doing homework. After the grandkids went home with their mom, we settled in front of the TV to just talk.

If you don't know this by now about me, then I will tell you that I am incurable romantic. My children tease me because I have probably watched "The Prince and Me" more than anyone else on this planet. Yep, that's how much I love that story - and besides Luke Mably and Julia Stiles are absolutely adorable in it!

Why is that so important to know? Well, the conversation of course turned to how Christmas in Cambridge went - with all of my children and grandchildren and the presence of my husband. I fared quite well, thank you. In fact, my daughter even gifted us with a Christmas baby!

Now you see, there was a moment in time when my husband had a choice to make, either marry the girl and try to keep her in the States or spend Christmas with his daughters. I don't discuss that much because, in the eyes of the Church and in my heart, we are still married. However, he chose to let the girl go and come on to Cambridge. I really didn't think much of it at the time because I figured he has applied for that marriage license so he is going to use it at some point.

My best friend has a different take on the matter. She thinks he doesn't love that girl at all and is just in it for the sex and the flattery. Of course, what she didn't realize is that her words gave me hope. (I know, I just heard quite a few screams of STOP!)

I can't help it, that made my heart flutter. (And my best friend would seriously disown me if I said anything like that to her) But this image from Christmas

still makes me cry. That's grandson #2 - grandbaby #4 <3

I'm serious. Once this house sells, and I move away, I don't want my daughters to tell him where I am. But I can't tell them why - not really. Because deep down, I want him to come looking for me. If he knows where I am, then he won't. It's as simple as that. ( If he does marry her, then I don't want her knowing where I am - that's a whole "safe place" issue). If you don't know much about PTSD, then you won't understand the "safe place" - but, trust me, this house no longer qualifies as such.

Now, back to my sanity. I know, you already think that I've lost it. I'm really working hard on learning the Korean. I'm moving to an area where I could actually do some translating - something I wanted to do with my Russian decades ago. Maybe I'll realize one of those old dreams, just in a different form.