Strangest dreams last night
They were all about farewells. It was truly sad. My best friends threw a huge celebration and it just so happened that I was going to be leaving. I spent my time during the party wandering through and saying goodbye.
Then, he showed up with HER. Was totally surprised when he was asked to leave.
More goodbyes but I kept searching for one person and I never found him before I had to leave.
Woke up feeling very, very sad.
First song that played in my car this morning: without u by 2PM "I'm gonna get stronger..."
Friday, August 21, 2015
Sunday, August 16, 2015
The Adventures of Honey, Jack, and me....
Okay, so that was going to be the original title of this blog. These past two weeks have been quite an adventure for the three of us!
Two weeks ago today: Fr. blessed me for my upcoming journey.
The following Wednesday: I picked up the rental truck and had two separate sets of movers show up to load the piano and then my furniture/items for a 1 bedroom apartment.
Thursday: departure for Boston/Natick. Took me two days: total of 20 hours. Arrived at my oldest daughter's home. Enjoyed a whirlwind weekend with my two oldest daughters, my sons-in-law, and my five grandbabies - and enjoyed two different parties! :) (they have such delightful friends!)
Last Sunday, celebrated Mass at St. Linus, visited my first H-Mart, and got on the road again! Pulled into my final destination in South Carolina late Monday night (after another 20 hours) and showed up at my new apartment complex first thing in the morning - got the apartment keys, movers arrived and unloaded, Big Bro helped with Jack, the internet/TV guy arrived, returned the truck, picked up a rental car, and that was just the first day!
Wednesday, I spent my time exploring the area, had a local cashier recommend a particular school district, came back and applied and:
Had an interview on Thursday and was offered a job on Friday afternoon! I start work tomorrow! And, yes, I found a teaching position - I don't have to work in retail for now.
Today, I found my new parish and celebrated Mass. Jesus is there in the Church - not removed out of sight in another area - he's right there and it looks like there is a little chapel on the other side? Also, there is a pipe organ and they are beginning a bell choir! Oh my - how I loved the bell choir at the Presbyterian Church that I was baptized in (and where my aunt was the organist! it was my grandmother's job first...). I picked up the registration packet and brought it back.
Next, get another car. I've got the rental at the moment but, now that I have a job, I need to see if I can obtain the financing for either a lease or a used car. On the agenda for this week!
Meanwhile, back home in Indiana, my best friends have been working like Trojans to spruce up my house and my yard so that it sells sooner. There is actually a showing tomorrow!
How is Jack doing? Well, this has been tough on him. Definitely, he is better off by being by my side. He still isn't eating regularly and the crate isn't the best solution for him when I leave the apartment. I have installed tall pet gates at either end of the kitchen - ah, yesterday, he somehow busted through one of the gates and threw his food all over the kitchen floor. I locked him back in there until he ate all the food that he had strewn on the floor. He did that immediately - he knew!!! Proof that he knows what he is doing, when I let him out last night, this is where he ended up:
Two weeks ago today: Fr. blessed me for my upcoming journey.
The following Wednesday: I picked up the rental truck and had two separate sets of movers show up to load the piano and then my furniture/items for a 1 bedroom apartment.
Thursday: departure for Boston/Natick. Took me two days: total of 20 hours. Arrived at my oldest daughter's home. Enjoyed a whirlwind weekend with my two oldest daughters, my sons-in-law, and my five grandbabies - and enjoyed two different parties! :) (they have such delightful friends!)
Last Sunday, celebrated Mass at St. Linus, visited my first H-Mart, and got on the road again! Pulled into my final destination in South Carolina late Monday night (after another 20 hours) and showed up at my new apartment complex first thing in the morning - got the apartment keys, movers arrived and unloaded, Big Bro helped with Jack, the internet/TV guy arrived, returned the truck, picked up a rental car, and that was just the first day!
Wednesday, I spent my time exploring the area, had a local cashier recommend a particular school district, came back and applied and:
Had an interview on Thursday and was offered a job on Friday afternoon! I start work tomorrow! And, yes, I found a teaching position - I don't have to work in retail for now.
Today, I found my new parish and celebrated Mass. Jesus is there in the Church - not removed out of sight in another area - he's right there and it looks like there is a little chapel on the other side? Also, there is a pipe organ and they are beginning a bell choir! Oh my - how I loved the bell choir at the Presbyterian Church that I was baptized in (and where my aunt was the organist! it was my grandmother's job first...). I picked up the registration packet and brought it back.
Next, get another car. I've got the rental at the moment but, now that I have a job, I need to see if I can obtain the financing for either a lease or a used car. On the agenda for this week!
Meanwhile, back home in Indiana, my best friends have been working like Trojans to spruce up my house and my yard so that it sells sooner. There is actually a showing tomorrow!
How is Jack doing? Well, this has been tough on him. Definitely, he is better off by being by my side. He still isn't eating regularly and the crate isn't the best solution for him when I leave the apartment. I have installed tall pet gates at either end of the kitchen - ah, yesterday, he somehow busted through one of the gates and threw his food all over the kitchen floor. I locked him back in there until he ate all the food that he had strewn on the floor. He did that immediately - he knew!!! Proof that he knows what he is doing, when I let him out last night, this is where he ended up:
So, my new start begins! Welcome to my ongoing adventure..................................
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Time forgets
This video / song has been in my playlist for awhile but I finally was able to read all the words in English. So apropos.
As I prepare to make this giant step of heading to a new place, a new adventure, trusting in God, I cannot help but be haunted by all of my memories.
It hit me hard yesterday when I finally told him that I was leaving. We had one of those normal, civil conversations about our children, moving the piano into the house and the history of it, and what to do about the financial situations that still connect us. I told him that he could reach me at my brother's if he needed and he seemed to dismiss that information quite easily. I seemed so calm and collected and I realized that I was falling for his charm all over again. Focus, remember what is actually going on (even though he has not imparted any of that information), and let go. Can I say this? I hope that I never have to see him again in my lifetime.
I know in my head that there are future events that we must attend together - I just don't feel as though I can handle it in my heart. It's becoming deadened. I can feel it every time I see him. Close it off, don't think, don't feel, don't say anything about your true feelings. Ah, I've had to be an actress all my life. Here I go again. Breathe, just breathe. Put one foot in front of the other and move forward.
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