Thursday, October 6, 2016

Settling in

Wow, so much has happened since my last post. I am now in Massachusetts - yes, I had to leave Jack behind. I try not to think about that and to concentrate on the joys of being with my children and grandchildren.
After all, as my one child reminded me as I prepared for this move, I have always taught them that people are what's most important. Things, I got rid of many "treasured" items. I gave up the house that I had dreamed of growing old and dying in, of a place that all my children and grandchildren could come home to - just like Grammie's house in Cincinnati. I wanted my babies to finally feel as though they had roots. I'm so very sorry that I couldn't remain strong enough to provide that for myself and my children. Mianhaeyo.
Forgive me if I didn't always practice what I preached. Hopefully, I can be a good role model for the rest of my life. In one sense, I have sacrificed nothing to make this move - for I came to be with my children and grandchildren - but I left family behind in order to do that. Naega sagwa. I apologize.
I pray that I am not a burden. I have always admired cultures that promote multi-generational households (my parents even grew up in them). I apparently don't do well with an empty nest - nor in having any of my children too far away. How will I balance it all? I feel sorry towards my mother. How must she feel?

3 comments:

  1. Yes. I drove by my old house today. The new owners are working on it. Making changes and doing much needed things I hadn't done to keep up with the house maintainance. Things I couldn't afford to fix once things turned for the worse. It is like we are being forced to practice detachment . I too thought my grand babies would come and run in that house / backyard. It's nice that you are with your children and grandchildren. That is such a blessing I am sure.

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    1. I don't know if I could even drive by my old house at this point. That would be way too painful. I'm so sorry that you have experienced that - yes, "forced detachment" - truly what we have to deal with.

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