Anniversaries

Some incredibly awful ones are looming up in the days ahead. It is like hearing the pounding of a drumbeat - so surprising that no one else around me can hear it. That's how loud it sounds in my head (and probably in my heart).

I'm going to drown it out - reading, praying, singing, dancing, and watching my shows.  I once had a backyard where I would dance at midnight - under the moonlight - with the dog taking care of his business and/or chasing animals. I felt safe - and sad.

I feel safe here. The nightmares are retreating. Every now and then an ugly one rears up its head but I dream more and more in other languages. And about happier things. I keep trying to give myself things to look forward to - to push me into being brave - to keep me alive.  I guess that I am keeping my guardian angel pretty well occupied 😊