He came over today to take care of some things here at the house. He was over here yesterday, too. Both times I had seemingly very comfortable conversations. Afterwards, the tears don't stop. Not like when you are uncontrollably sobbing - but more like your eyes just can't stop "leaking".
It certainly doesn't help that today is grey and overcast (I am very affected by weather - can handle things much better when the sun shines brightly). I need to get everything fixed here at the house - and put it back into "spotless" mode. This house needs to sell soon - this state really isn't big enough for the two of us anymore.
I also need to get EVERYTHING completed for my applications to jobs in another state. I will move first if I get a job elsewhere - and leave the house behind for the moment.
As I said, my heart hurts....memories are strong as I clean out, throw away, re-decorate. In the meantime, I will put on a brave face, smile, and act like nothing is going on.... I will focus on images like this of Jonghyun's smile (which even makes me smile through my tears as it is one that "brightens up the world").
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