Facebook World

Most people don't really pay attention to their number of friends on their social media. I have always noticed when my numbers go down: wondering who I've offended this time or what happened.  My daughters try to remind me that some people just deactivate their accounts so not to take it personally. Sometimes I know immediately who has taken me off their friend list, other times I have no clue. I scrolled through my friends today - specifically looking for one to assist another in her pain - and she's gone. Ah, I understand. I'm close friends with others that she has unfriended in the past - I must have said something to remind her of this. I will continue to pray for her - I will continue to cheer her on - but it saddens me that women of faith turn against one another for espousing a slightly different view. We should be united as followers of Christ - specifically among my Catholic friends.

And, it's true, among my list of friends, I see ones who have deactivated their accounts - and others who have passed away (and their children are still posting and monitoring). Why do I not delete these? Because I remember to pray for them when I see their names. I suppose that I should "clean up" my account for the time when I pass away and my daughters are left to notify my Facebook world.

I have many liberal friends and conservative friends: that's how the world is. I would love to insulate myself at times from views that I strongly disagree with but I also think that people are most important. Judging people by their looks? Maybe I do that to some extent but, for the most part, I tend to watch people's behaviors. If I limited my friends to only those who think exactly like I do, then I think that I would have a handful of them left. How sad is that?

I do know that I would be in an entirely different place if my husband had not left. Finding a balance between grief, and honoring vows, accepting reality, being hurt and forgiving - it's hard to do and it's not something that I have been able to achieve. Yes, I can be a bit of an escapist but I was trained to do that years ago. And maybe that's why my husband left. I'm not always the nicest of people. However, I'm loyal. Love isn't broken that easily - you never love someone because they're perfect. You love them in spite of any flaws. Some people are easier to love than others but that makes them no less deserving of your love. Promises, and vows, are made to be honored and kept. I always tried to make promises that I intended to keep - I wouldn't call it a promise otherwise. I've promised never to speak to someone again - I know that wasn't very nice - but I kept it pretty well. Don't mess with my family. You can hurt me - but don't hurt my family. Promises to love and honor - hard to keep when that person has thrown you away - but that doesn't discount the love that should always have been there.

Maybe someday I'll be that saint. I'm not there yet. However, I have a constant reminder of that love through my daughters and through my grandbabies.