Kid Lessons - Pay Attention to the Details

Pay Attention to the Details

This is more of a learning lesson for me as a mom. When you have three children, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, your time is no longer your own. It is devoted to making sure that your household runs smoothly, that your husband has what he needs to do his job properly, that your children have what they need to either go to school or be at home with you, and you put yourself last. You don't really think about that - that's fodder for an entirely different blog post - but you also forget to slow down and pay attention to the little details regarding each child.

Everyone jokes about how the middle child is over-looked. Honestly, you try not to do it. It could be for so many different reasons. There was a period in life (very early on) when she was my "difficult" child. You know that joke that every midwestern state has about the weather forecast? Wait fifteen minutes and it will change? Well, your children are like that. You never know which one - on any given day - is going to be the easiest one to get along with or the most difficult to handle. Wait fifteen minutes - it will change. Breathe.

Eventually, my middle daughter settled into the role of peacemaker between her two sisters. The oldest had a very strong individualistic presence - easily settling into that role of firstborn - and her father and I always said that it would take a unique personality to hold her own following her. Fortunately, her sister has held her own just fine. And the youngest - well, I think of that old dinosaur show where the baby dinosaur says, "I'm the baby - gotta love me!". She is truly unique and precious in her own way but she has a double-wide stubborn streak (got that one from both parents!). So, yes, the middle child who happens to be a peacemaker can be overlooked.

So much so that you don't start putting two plus two together properly. We were living in a small-town in Illinois, twenty minutes from the Wisconsin border, in an absolutely "dream" neighborhood. All the kids played in each other's yards and the moms and dads watched out for each other's children.

One night, we had a telescope out and were star-gazing. I don't remember what their Daddy was trying to show the girls but I do remember that no matter what we pointed out, my middle just couldn't see it. We thought she wasn't looking hard enough. Exasperated, we gave up on trying to point things out to her in the night sky.

Again, on a trip back from the closest large city, we passed field after field of cows. Suddenly, the oldest pointed out deer on the side of the road! (Being midwesterners, we had already experienced what deer by the side of the road can really mean so I wasn't thrilled, but the girls were). However, again, our middle child was left asking where? By then, she had missed seeing the deer. She was upset and she was met with comments like you just have to pay more attention.

I know, you as a reader are already yelling at me, asking me about the obvious. Well, it wasn't obvious. She was having no problems in school. Nothing that stood out when we watched things at home. However, one day, we were traveling that stretch from the city again. The girls were playing a game and naming things that they saw. Their daddy was driving so I had the luxury of being able to play along. Suddenly it clicked. My sweet middle child didn't SEE the brown jersey cow in one field nor the black angus cattle in another!

So I scheduled her for an eye exam. Yes, she needed glasses. Yes, she was near-sighted. Not a big deal. Oh my! It was a big deal! The day we came home with her wearing her new glasses, she went out to play in the backyard, looked up at the tree and exclaimed with delight! She, in her entire life, had never seen the detail of individual leaves up in a tree! She had only seen it as a "whole" that dropped individual bits. Wow, that day, we went for a walk - looking at the world with her "new" eyes. (Yes, I also cried later that I had deprived her of that beauty for so long). I will never forget how she "saw" that tree for the very first time, after living there for months, and through several seasons. It taught me to step back, look at my daughters more closely, and to show them the "details" in life. Be observant. You might miss something REALLY important or REALLY beautiful, like being able to see not just the leaves in the tree, but the caterpillars that are crawling on those leaves.

Kid Lessons 2